[x]

Dreamer of DreamsEyes so green – deeper than the seas and with
Thoughts so far away; she was the dreamer of all dreams.
They told her she couldn’t succeed
Yet she tried and tried.
And eventually fell victim
To the abuse and lies.

Her smile held beauty that none could compare, but her
Confidence was shaken and she was struck with despair.
For the words that they had spoken
Got lost inside her head.
To the world she was alive,
But in her heart she was dead.

She found solace in a friend whose name we all know:
Crack cocaine became her lover and it became her foe.
Now she felt she had done
What they said she would do.
“Not only am I a failu

I feel nothing.The numbness is almost comforting
The feeling of absolutely nothing
No sadness, no anger
Just dead silence
I couldn't care less for his reply
I couldn't care less if he's gone for good
No nervousness, no fear
Just emptiness
My life just goes on, the days drag by
My cuts don't get worse, nor do they improve
No worries, not anxious
I feel nothing.

When you demand it.When I was a little girl
my mother used to tell me
"you will not understand
the magnitude of what you've said
until you've said it."

And, as promised,
I have come to tell you: I've said it.

I have come to tell you
I felt the vibrato
coax my deepest bones:
an immortal vex, a cage
of everything alive beneath my flesh;
the things that will stay alive
after everything alive in my body
has turned to ash.

I have come to tell you
I felt the magnitude build
in my chest like the flapping
of birds, dead things
I assumed would never
breathe life, that I would never
understand what it is like
to choke on their tiny bones
while I trip over my words.

I

What Else Can You Say?There are two types of sadness.

One that you just ignore, and power through. You go out with your friends, you eat, you laugh. You celebrate the gift that is life. Happiness returns quickly.

The other... you let consume you. You lock yourself away, and turn off your phone. You cry, and don't stop. You denounce the turmoil that is life. Happiness returns slowly, even though you don't think it will.

Inevitably, for both, the 'metaphoric' sun will shine again, drying up the puddles - or sometimes floods - that have fallen from the storm known as "depression" and the hurricane known as "life".

That's kind of a ridiculous thing to say, isn't i

The Pixelated Mani am just a single pixel,
a tiny dot on the digital canvas of my life,
a speck of grey in a sea of color,
a whirlpool of life and frivolity,
yet the sea is far away,
i am but a single pixel on a blank canvas,
a single pixel can never see a bigger picture,
yet somehow i am okay this way,
a single solitary pixel,
and yet all the same i cling to hope,
i hope that one day i will be joined by other pixels,
so that we may form a beautiful picture,
a special little masterpiece

Your Skin to that BladeYour Skin to that Blade

You take your skin to that blade
That thin piece of sharp metal
To go beneath your skin.

That moment when you feel that rush
The rush of a red river
flowing down your wrist
The release of your demons.

Weather it's across the stream
or down the street
That first slice becomes an addiction
Addiction of ecstasy when you
bring your skin to that blade.

The next day people are asking you
"Why are you wearing a long sleeve shirt in this weather"
with your reply of "I'm just cold."
When you fill your wrists with bracelets
or the “my cat scratched me” excuse.

You will say anything believable just so
yo

lostI see them slip one by one, all my dreams

Try so hard to catch them, but they dance away it seems.

I don’t want my friends to be my only source of hope

I don’t want to hurt myself anymore just to cope.

This life hasn’t turned out the way I wanted it to be

I’m scared of a future I’m not sure I want to see.

Everyday I feel more confused, feel even more lost

I want to die but I’m not sure if its worth the cost~

Have you seen that girlHave you seen that girl
With the yellow clothing
Running around, making too much noise?

I’m afraid I haven’t
I’ve seen the girl in blue though
She was calm, yet seemed troubled

What’re you talking about
I’ve only seen the girl in black
Packed with danger, yet kept to herself

Ah, were you guys just talking about me?

They all turned
To find the girl
The color they each want to see
For she is nothing
But
A mirror
That shows what you want to see
But never
Revealing the hidden part inside

Stone Heartkneeling on rough ground,
the tears fall from my face,
collecting in a chalice beneath your feet,
feel the melodic rhythm of my heart in every drop,
and sate your thirsty lips upon the cool water,
drink your fill from the wellspring of my love,
but do not be surprised once the well runs dry,
and my heart becomes like stone,
and beats no more

PoetryWords of a silver tipped tongue
Rhymes of over emotional young.
Tales of unrequited loves
Symbols with crows and doves.

Ink of mournful tears
Mixed of adolescent fears.
Bars of a hateful cage
Crafted of blinding rage.

Memories of the glorious past
Times of joy that can't last.
Fantasies of dreams so sweet
Realities of tragic defeat.

WHAT WILL I LEAVEWHAT WILL I LEAVE

the fear of being
alone and afraid
after all this an
insecure man is made
will they leave me
alone before die
when I'm gone
will anyone cry
I start to think
what I would do
if you were gone
would I fade too
will they see a
dark ghost of me
a lone grave stone
what will they see
I always wear my
fear on my sleeve
when I finally die
what will I leave

UntitledIt is time to say goodbye
You cannot handle the distance between us
Though we meet and touch every single day
You sensed that I was distant half of the time
I don’t want you to know why
I don’t want you to understand
Do not think of me and
Do not say that you love me

I might just love you back

Strength...Strength..It's something we all have.
But Strength,is something we all have to earn,work hard for,and want.
Strength.We all have our strong points.And our weak points.
Strength.It's something that gets us through a tough day.
Strength.It gives us the right to be who we choose.
Strength.To fight every battle that comes our way.And we won't go down so easily.
Strength.Motivating the fallen and raise their hopes to fight again.
Strength.It's something that lays deep beneath our souls and hearts.We need to let it push to the outer core and let it shine.
Strength.It's our hopes,friends,family,and our way of life.
Strength.It gives you the urge to do whats right.
Strength.We all have it.Let it shine through the veil of darkness that shadows us constantly.
Strength.It's stronger than a blade.It keeps our minds sharp
Strength.It's the thing that lets us keep our heads up high.To show our superior love.Life.Soul

The Porcelain Shieldof porcelain so bloody,
chipped and battered,
rusted firm from eons past,
the blood streaks like tears down its eyes,
like magic in the mirror,
reveals the crystal tears it cries,
my mask it is so beaten,
from years of bitter lies,
it used to be so perfect,
but now it slowly dies,
the cracks they show so clearly,
displayed so all can see,
revealing beneath the surface,
a broken, lonely me

Because You Loved MeHi,
My name is--
Nothing.
Never mind.
I forgot that I don't have one.
You can't know me.
You don't know me....
At least that's what you told them....
You could never just admit it.
You would never tell them.
You should have just shouted it out,
Loud enough for the whole world to here you.
I love you...
And you know you loved me...
Cause we were together
Yeah.
We were a thing
I couldn't have just imagined it
We spent 4 months together
Cuddled in the back of your mom's car
Laughing at my jokes
Arms around each other
Lips locked together.....
But now you say that you don't know me??
Every.
Single.
One.
Of my deepest secrets has been invested into your very soul
And every time you look at me...
You turn the other way and laugh
Because you know I'm a freak.
You know what's wrong with me!
You know everything!
But you still say that you don't know me...
But you know you do.
You know you loved me!
And I know that I loved you....
And I know that you know you loved me too
S

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Being Self-concious

by ~AhJaysus, Feb 10, 2013, 5:11:25 AM
Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Urban & Spoken Word

Stop!
You,yes you.
You're beautiful

Don't shake your head.
I know what you're thinking.
"here we go again "

I know how you feel, I really do.
But please don't be so harsh on yourself.
Someone out there,is going to love you just the way you are.
Have patience.

You are unique.
No one in the world is quiet like you.
No one tilts their head gently to the side,like you
No one says Jason Derulo ,like you do.

No matter what you do,keep smiling.
Someone out there is going to fall for it.
Stay true to yourself,be yourself.
Someone out there,is going to be amazed by you.

You're not weird, You're wonderful.
You're not too fat,
You're not too skinny,
Everyone is self-conscious about something.
Even the most beautiful people on earth.
You see, we might not see their flaws but they do.
Your flaws,99% of people wont see as flaws.

Don't let society create an image for you to follow.
Show society your image.
Someone out there,is going to look up to you for it.

Someone is out there.
You're not alone.

Being Self-conciousby ~AhJaysus

Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Urban & Spoken Word

©2013 ~AhJaysus

I am in no means a writer nor do I intend to be.
This is just something close to my heart,i want to reach out to others.
If i can make one person smile well then thats mission accomplished (:

~flowerpower138 Feb 10, 2013 Student General Artist

....

Reply

~Eightence Feb 10, 2013 Hobbyist General Artist

Aww, this is so sweet... It touched me and your mission is accomplished

Reply

~AhJaysus Feb 10, 2013 Hobbyist Photographer

Glad to hear it

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